Library Humor

There I was, at the service counter in the library trying, for the third time, to straighten out a problem with my library ID number, when a voice from the past came from behind me: “I didn’t know you knew how to read.”  It was Bill, LNF (which stand for Last Name Forgotten).  He played golf with the Tuesday/Thursday crowd when I first started, around 2012, but hasn’t played with us for several years.  He’s taller than I am by several inches, and is a former school teacher and superintendent in New York and Maryland.
“I’m still learning to read,” I replied, “and not doing such a hot job at it.”
Bill waited patiently while the very nice (and attractive) librarian worked her magic and assured me that the problem with my ID number was fixed.  I asked her to be sure my password was also correct, and when I told her what it was she assured me everything was in order.  
Meanwhile, Bill was making a show of copying my password and telling us he was going to use it to check out a few more books.
The librarian told him to be sure to pick out several bodice-ripping romance novels.
I waited for Bill to check out the books he already had and we stepped away to catch up a bit and share our health problems for a few minutes.  We both have atrial fibrilation and neuropathy in the legs.  Sadly, Bill also has Parkinsons.  
Obviously we didn’t step far enough away, because after a minute or two of our uplifting conversation, our librarian said: “As fascinating as this is, I have some other business to take care of and hope you will please excuse me.”
Who ever said librarians have no sense of humor?

Observe and Learn, Part 1 (Perhaps)

Things are piling up around here. Time to decide what to do about health insurance. Can’t possibly watch all the catchy new TV programs, not to mention football 5 days (and 4 nights) every week. And the World Series. And the NBA season has started. And the few surprises encountered on a recent short trip to hometown Chicago.

Here goes:

    • Did you know that if you rent a car from a Southwest Airlines partner for the additonal Rewards points you pay the rental car company extra for those points? Seems more like penalty points to me….
    • The HUMANA Medicare Advantage booklet contains 167 pages and lists roughly 920 medications. And if you happen to need a translator, you can get one in 16 languages. Plus English. I need an English one. Preferable one who will not only read to me but explain everything he or she is reading.
    • At Midway Airport in Chicago you can get pancakes and sausage and a cup of tea for just over $5, but be sure to bring along some sort of lap table so you can eat without having to sit in a highchair facing the rushing mobs of passengers who give you “tsk, tsk” looks for eating something from McDonald’s. And by the way, those highchairs have no footrests, so be careful when you leave your perch because your legs will have fallen asleep from having dangled in the air while you ate.
    • The “Medicare & You 2016” official U.S. government handbook provides you with another 163 pages to read. I no longer wonder why it’s called the health care “industry.” Printing costs alone must account for a healthy chunk of the budget. The manuals for the IBM computers I worked with back in the 60’s had fewer pages.
    • Airliner seats have not been made more comfortable.
    • Chicago traffic is more awful than it was just a few years ago, but not quite, yet, as bad as Singapore traffic. Or any large city in China.

Moving on……..

Sleep Tight Tonight – Your Norton Program Is Awake

We veterans of life, and especially of the U.S. Air Force, remember the 1950’s slogan: “Sleep Tight Tonight – Your Air Force Is Awake.”

Just looked at my report from Norton, the software service I use in an attempt to secure my computer and all that I read, write, save, etc. with same.

This month’s report shows, right there on my little laptop, 41,473 computer threats, 5,062 known network attacks, and 39,744 known phishing sites.

Don’t have time to write any more about this.

Have to exit and try to understand what all these threats, attacks, and sites might do or are already doing to affect my computer, my life.